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Disability Inclusion Author Talk Series Mary Li and Sophie – Navigating Hearing Loss
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Mary Li together with Inclusive Futures Book Club and Author Talk host Dr. Maretta MannOn Wednesday, April 3, 2024, the Inclusive Futures Book Club hosted author Mary Li for an insightful conversation with Dr. Maretta Mann. The discussion delved into Mary’s remarkable dancing career, her marriage to Li Cunxin AO, and the challenges faced by her daughter, Sophie, who was diagnosed as profoundly deaf at 17 months. They explored career decisions, the absence of role models, and the complexities of education and social interactions. Mary and Sophie’s journey, navigating both the hearing and deaf worlds, provided a powerful narrative of resilience and adaptation.
An Unlikely Beginning
Author Mary Li and Inclusive Futures Author Talk host Dr. Maretta Mann Mary Li’s memoir traces her journey from Rockhampton, Australia, where she grew up as Mary McKendry—one of eight children. Despite an unconventional start, Mary’s innate musicality drew her to ballet. She recalls, “The minute I walked into the studio at eight years old, and I could hear the music, I was lifted to another world.” Her teacher recognised her potential, leading to an invitation to the Royal Ballet School in London at age 16.
Mary Li and her dance partner and husband Li Cunxin OAM dance Swan Lake Mary’s Dancing Career
Mary joined the London Festival Ballet (now the English National Ballet) in 1977. As she ascended the ranks, she danced principal roles in classical ballets, collaborated with renowned choreographers, and performed on international stages. One of many highlights was visiting China in the early 1980s—a ground-breaking experience.
A Shocking Diagnosis
In 1989, Mary Li and her husband, Li Cunxin AO, welcomed their daughter, Sophie. Newborn hearing screening wasn’t routine then, but after noticing Sophie’s lack of reaction to a popping balloon, they booked a hearing test. The diagnosis—profound deafness—shocked them both. Mary immediately thought of Helen Keller’s experience. Despite advancements, the shock remains significant for parents. Mary made an early decision: she would give up her dancing career to ensure Sophie had equal opportunities.
Finding a Way for Sophie
Mary described that at the time (1990s) there was no internet, and no role models in her life that would help parents to support their deaf children. Sign language was not really presented as a viable option. She fortunately met one wonderful speech therapist who also had a child with disability. “She was the one that looked at me in the room and said “you know, you can help her”… she was amazing.” But healthcare and support weren’t coordinated, and parents had to find their own way.
Challenging Social Situations
In social situations, Mary faced challenges related to her daughter Sophie’s hearing loss. At a Mother’s Group, comparing Sophie’s speech development with other children highlighted the differences. Sophie missed social conversations without Mary as her interpreter. Birthday celebrations were exhausting, but a thoughtful friend organised a small party for Sophie. As Sophie entered her teenage years, group situations became even more difficult—never being privy to secrets and missing out on conversations affected her confidence profoundly.
Mother as Teacher
Mary took every opportunity to teach Sophie to speak. “Even in the bath tub I put on her hearing aids because she was still… Instead of making individual lessons I just talked all day about everything that was around me.” She spoke about a revelation when Sophie was about four years old that she would need to teach Sophie how to think, because this is very difficult to do without the language. This is when she decided to investigate a cochlear implant.
Navigating School and University
Mary shared the difficulty in finding a good school for Sophie. She tried out a specialist school for deaf children, and mainstream schools (in both Australia and the USA). She wanted Sophie to have a good education but also for Sophie to experience social situations. None of the school experiences were perfect. Later Sophie went to university, and that presented challenges as well. Even if there were Auslan (Australian Sign Language) interpreters, sometimes they wouldn’t be available for particular classes.
Sophie and Dancing
Mary spoke about the benefits that Sophie has had from doing dancing. First, it was a new opportunity, and this extended Sophie’s opportunity to learn new words from being immersed in different situations. She said that when you have a hearing-impaired child you worry about background noise, so basketball is out. But in a ballet studio the children have to be quiet and listen to the teacher. So, in a way Sophie was having speech therapy without knowing it. Interestingly, she was also very expressive and musical. She ended up doing a year 12 dance, and she was one of the top 5% in the state. She was particularly good at tap dancing, and Mary said this is a great form of dance for Deaf children.
Cochlear Implants: A Dual Perspective
Mary acknowledges that cochlear implants have significantly transformed Sophie’s life, but they come with limitations. Sophie now communicates using Auslan and benefits from the implants, straddling both the hearing and deaf worlds. However, Sophie’s first implant failed due to a software glitch, leading to a second surgery after 26 years.
Sophie’s reality remains unchanged—she goes to bed deaf and wakes up the same way. Yet, the implant acts as a powerful tool, akin to putting on glasses.
Nowadays, in her mentoring role, Sophie emphasises confidence-building. Many individuals with implants or hearing loss struggle with confidence, but Sophie guides them toward reclaiming it. Whether in the workforce or daily life, she empowers others to overcome barriers and find their voice.
Where is Sophie Now?
Mary told us a bit about what Sophie has been doing since her book was published in 2020. Amongst many exciting developments, Sophie has invented a subscription-based global online signing dictionary called Sign How, as well as a signing app.
Resources:
· To read the full story, purchase Mary’s Last Dance by Mary Li online.
· Learn about Sophie’s Sign How dictionary.
This condensed account was written by Dr Maretta Mann, Strategic Development Manager, and host of the Book Club at Inclusive Futures: Reimagining Disability.
Dr Maretta Mann and Mary Li -
Disability Inclusion Author Talk Series: A conversation with Mary Li - Principal Repétitéur and Ballet Mistress with the Queensland Ballet and author of Mary’s Last Dance.
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Inclusive Futures: Reimagining Disability invites you to attend our Author Talk event with esteemed guest Mary Li (author of Mary’s Last Dance), hosted by Dr Maretta Mann.
Mary Li (née McKendry) principal repétitéur at the Queensland Ballet, faced a unique challenge when her daughter, Sophie, was diagnosed as profoundly deaf at 17 months. Mary, a former principal dancer with the London Festival Ballet (English National Ballet), shifted her focus to support Sophie’s journey, juggling speech therapy and adapting her busy ballet schedule.
Sophie, determined to navigate the hearing world, learned to lip-read, received a cochlear implant, and embraced mainstream education. As a young woman, she discovered Auslan, enhancing her language skills and boosting confidence. Reflecting on Sophie’s journey after completing her memoir, “Mary’s Last Dance”, the entire family embraced Auslan, deepening their bond.
Born in Rockhampton, Queensland, Mary Li’s illustrious ballet career includes stints with the Royal Ballet and Houston Ballet. Returning to Australia, she spent a decade with the Australian Ballet before joining theQueensland Ballet as Principal Repétitéur. Alongside her husband Li Cunxin AO (https://licunxin.com), the artistic director, they elevated the company’s global standing.
Mary’s resilience, a hallmark of her ballet career, proved crucial in navigating and ultimately embracing her child’s disability. Her story, a fusion of ballet and family strength, exemplifies courage, determination, and unwavering will.
Find out more about Mary Li and her book “Mary’s Last Dance” at https://www.penguin.com.au/authors/mary-li
Visit Sophie Li’s website https://www.sophieli.com.au.
Event Details
Wednesday, 3 April 2024, 11.30 am–1.30 pm
Queensland Conservatorium (QCGU) Foyer, S01
Southbank Campus, Griffith University
Access a venue map on this link or visit https://www.griffith.edu.au/__data/assets/pdf_file/0023/361670/South-Bank-campus-map.pdfRSVP
Please confirm your attendance before:
Thursday, 21 March 2024
Click here to register your attendance or visit: https://forms.office.com/r/gLhhR3iV7mAlternatively register via the QR Code below.
Contact us
Inclusive Futures: Reimagining Disability
inclusivefutures@griffith.edu.au