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  • Disability Inclusion Author Talk Series Mary Li and Sophie – Navigating Hearing Loss

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    A montage of images of the Mary Li Author talk together with Dr. Maretta Mann. Mary is a middle aged woman with a brown curly bob hair style. She wears a blue and teal long sleeve midi dress and holds a microphone as she addresses the audience. Dr. Mann is a young middle age woman with straight brown bob hair parted in the middle. She is wearing white wide three quarter length pants and a brown t-shirt with joggers. In other images Mary Li's novel "Mary's Last Dance" is shown which has Mary and husband Li on the cover.Mary Li together with Inclusive Futures Book Club and Author Talk host Dr. Maretta Mann

    On Wednesday, April 3, 2024, the Inclusive Futures Book Club hosted author Mary Li for an insightful conversation with Dr. Maretta Mann. The discussion delved into Mary’s remarkable dancing career, her marriage to Li Cunxin AO, and the challenges faced by her daughter, Sophie, who was diagnosed as profoundly deaf at 17 months. They explored career decisions, the absence of role models, and the complexities of education and social interactions. Mary and Sophie’s journey, navigating both the hearing and deaf worlds, provided a powerful narrative of resilience and adaptation.

    Mary Li speaks to the audience in the Inclusive Futures Author Talk hosted by Dr Maretta MannAuthor Mary Li and Inclusive Futures Author Talk host Dr. Maretta Mann
    An Unlikely Beginning

    Mary Li’s memoir traces her journey from Rockhampton, Australia, where she grew up as Mary McKendry—one of eight children. Despite an unconventional start, Mary’s innate musicality drew her to ballet. She recalls, “The minute I walked into the studio at eight years old, and I could hear the music, I was lifted to another world.” Her teacher recognised her potential, leading to an invitation to the Royal Ballet School in London at age 16.



    Mary Li and her dance partner and husband Li Cunxin OAM dance Swan LakeMary Li and her dance partner and husband Li Cunxin OAM dance Swan Lake

    Mary’s Dancing Career

    Mary joined the London Festival Ballet (now the English National Ballet) in 1977. As she ascended the ranks, she danced principal roles in classical ballets, collaborated with renowned choreographers, and performed on international stages. One of many highlights was visiting China in the early 1980s—a ground-breaking experience.

    A Shocking Diagnosis

    In 1989, Mary Li and her husband, Li Cunxin AO, welcomed their daughter, Sophie. Newborn hearing screening wasn’t routine then, but after noticing Sophie’s lack of reaction to a popping balloon, they booked a hearing test. The diagnosis—profound deafness—shocked them both. Mary immediately thought of Helen Keller’s experience. Despite advancements, the shock remains significant for parents. Mary made an early decision: she would give up her dancing career to ensure Sophie had equal opportunities.

    Finding a Way for Sophie

    Mary described that at the time (1990s) there was no internet, and no role models in her life that would help parents to support their deaf children. Sign language was not really presented as a viable option. She fortunately met one wonderful speech therapist who also had a child with disability. “She was the one that looked at me in the room and said “you know, you can help her”… she was amazing.” But healthcare and support weren’t coordinated, and parents had to find their own way.

    Challenging Social Situations

    In social situations, Mary faced challenges related to her daughter Sophie’s hearing loss. At a Mother’s Group, comparing Sophie’s speech development with other children highlighted the differences. Sophie missed social conversations without Mary as her interpreter. Birthday celebrations were exhausting, but a thoughtful friend organised a small party for Sophie. As Sophie entered her teenage years, group situations became even more difficult—never being privy to secrets and missing out on conversations affected her confidence profoundly.

    Mother as Teacher

    Mary took every opportunity to teach Sophie to speak. “Even in the bath tub I put on her hearing aids because she was still… Instead of making individual lessons I just talked all day about everything that was around me.” She spoke about a revelation when Sophie was about four years old that she would need to teach Sophie how to think, because this is very difficult to do without the language. This is when she decided to investigate a cochlear implant.

    Navigating School and University

    Mary shared the difficulty in finding a good school for Sophie. She tried out a specialist school for deaf children, and mainstream schools (in both Australia and the USA). She wanted Sophie to have a good education but also for Sophie to experience social situations. None of the school experiences were perfect. Later Sophie went to university, and that presented challenges as well. Even if there were Auslan (Australian Sign Language) interpreters, sometimes they wouldn’t be available for particular classes.

    Sophie and Dancing

    Mary spoke about the benefits that Sophie has had from doing dancing. First, it was a new opportunity, and this extended Sophie’s opportunity to learn new words from being immersed in different situations. She said that when you have a hearing-impaired child you worry about background noise, so basketball is out. But in a ballet studio the children have to be quiet and listen to the teacher. So, in a way Sophie was having speech therapy without knowing it. Interestingly, she was also very expressive and musical. She ended up doing a year 12 dance, and she was one of the top 5% in the state. She was particularly good at tap dancing, and Mary said this is a great form of dance for Deaf children.

    Cochlear Implants: A Dual Perspective

    Mary acknowledges that cochlear implants have significantly transformed Sophie’s life, but they come with limitations. Sophie now communicates using Auslan and benefits from the implants, straddling both the hearing and deaf worlds. However, Sophie’s first implant failed due to a software glitch, leading to a second surgery after 26 years.

    Sophie’s reality remains unchanged—she goes to bed deaf and wakes up the same way. Yet, the implant acts as a powerful tool, akin to putting on glasses.

    Nowadays, in her mentoring role, Sophie emphasises confidence-building. Many individuals with implants or hearing loss struggle with confidence, but Sophie guides them toward reclaiming it. Whether in the workforce or daily life, she empowers others to overcome barriers and find their voice.

    Where is Sophie Now?

    Mary told us a bit about what Sophie has been doing since her book was published in 2020. Amongst many exciting developments, Sophie has invented a subscription-based global online signing dictionary called Sign How, as well as a signing app.

    Resources:

    · To read the full story, purchase Mary’s Last Dance by Mary Li online.

    · Learn about Sophie’s Sign How dictionary.

    This condensed account was written by Dr Maretta Mann, Strategic Development Manager, and host of the Book Club at Inclusive Futures: Reimagining Disability. Dr Maretta Mann together with author Mary LiDr Maretta Mann and Mary Li